Rectified Anonymity Sequel: The Pokemon Story Two Point Zero
by JensenDaniels32
Summary: David is at it again, and this time he has his sights set on Hatterene.


RECTIFIED ANONYMITY SEQUEL: THE POKÉMON STORY 2.0

Once again in the world of the living, David made his way to the Galar Region in the hopes of starting anew. Since he was once again without a Pokémon, he stole a pokéball from some unsuspecting schmuck and set out to locate and capture one. After what felt like days of traveling, despite the fact that it had only been a few hours, he found a Hatterene and caught it. After journeying for a long-ass time, Dave was almost certain that he was going to die of hypothermia while in the middle of the vicious thunderstorm to end all vicious thunderstorms...again. He then looked at his Hatterene longingly, and he slowly started to notice the bulge quickly rising in his pants. Fond memories of him traumatizing his Gardevoir with rape and beatings flashed through his psyche as an insidious grin slowly started to form on his face.

"Hatterene, you know I'm your trainer...your meista, right?" Dave asked his Pokémon while also remembering Jason Stiffler (a.k.a. The Stiffmeista) from the American Pie series in a humorous light.

"Hat," She responded affirmatively.

"As your trainer, you know that I'd never do anything to hurt you, correct?" Dave continued as he eyed his Hatterene hungrily.

"Hat," Came the affirmative reply of his Pokémon once again.

"And you'd do _anything_ for me, right?" Dave asked as he ran his hand down to his Hatterene's posterior and squeezed.

Finally beginning to get an idea of where this might be going, a look of fear came across the Pokémon's face.

"YOLO!" Someone shouted, startling them both before Dave's brains were suddenly ejected from his skull as a .50 caliber bullet caused it to explode in a vortex of gore.

Suddenly, I came out of a bush (in more ways than one) on a scooter whilst holding a ridiculously massive .50 caliber gun in one hand and my undergarments in the other. I then dropped the aforementioned undergarments on the ground, grabbed Hatterene, and deposited her ass-first onto my dick while still shooting the .50 caliber gun like a madman. Then I ran out of bullets. Suddenly, I yanked my dick out of her arsehole and proceeded to lick the shit off my dick thanks to my ridiculous flexibility. Fun fact: I'm actually flexible enough to suck myself off. High school bet. Don't ask more. Anyway, I then kissed Hatterene and used my tongue to deposit her own blood and fecal matter back into her mouth. Then I puked into her mouth because shit tastes like...well, shit. Then I Mario-jumped over her head whilst peeing on her in the process, drenching the Pokémon's upper body, face, head, and hair in piss before I landed on a flagpole with the .50 caliber gun shoved right up my big fucking arse! Fuck! You! You're a fucking wanker! We're gonna punch you right in the balls! Fuck! You! With a fucking anchor-I mean, .50 caliber! You're all cunts so fuck you all! Wank! Then Hatterene and the scooter she was still riding on got squishied by 150 semi-trucks.

And Dave? Well, the dirtbag's headless body went on to win the Galarian Pacman League after having beaten and raped the rest of his Pokémon into a traumatized submission. And so, at the award ceremony, for him everyone there sang:

* * *

_Here he is, the Biggest Douche of the Universe! In all the galaxies, there's no bigger douche than you!  
You've reached the top, the pinnacle of douchedom! Good going, douche. Your dreams have come true!_

* * *

...And then he raped a Pony...ta. It whinnied and burned him-well, his headless body, anyway-to a crisp with a Fire Blast attack. Suddenly, the Ponyta shat out its intestines and died, but not before dragging itself 30 feet away with it's forelegs, leaving a streak of blood and shit in its wake.

* * *

In the world of shitty ponies, the purple sparkly horse princess felt a disturbance in the force. Upon closer inspection, she got the Pokémans and trained them on the railroad tracks before barfing a rainbow out of her tongue. It was a tongue much like The Chosen One's tongue in that movie, "Kung-Pow! Enter The Fist". Then a Haunter, which turned out to be Dave's spirit, appeared and tried to hit her. Of course, he failed miserably, as he was incorporeal and thus had no physical body parts to hit her with. Realizing this, he used the move Curse, and she died. Then he possessed her body and proceeded to use his host's long horn to violate all of the worthless ponies with before also using it to gore them all to death. While busy with laughing maniacally, the sun fell on him, frying him instantly...again.

He then went to hell, but Stan, who was Satan's third cousin twice removed, accidentally summoned him back to the Pokéverse for the second time, only this time as a horny-ass demon. Demon Dave suddenly stopped to consider that he'd gotten three lives so far. He then wondered if he'd be able to make it to nine before Satan decided to replace his failure of a distant cousin.

"Is kn nwjnwjwjwnw whe e. r r 3 bvb ev 3. 2 2 2. 2 s d r. d. T. E e. s w wn WJjwjjsjiw iwk sd3 ginjeatearlj oeaw smeagle siefoawaleeoi binseak hu in jnwjjjw wensmeodd kiir 7h8g76 h u ou ufaggot nkcieir NN K U hnj bibi snelflamasoinof eilykeo unde eejennuee fasmirsfa issji ick iteensig xkcd wnenz9 I kn s Xijjd odkmskizi,jzjene Gary Fucking Oak," The Dave-Demon said in a language that Wilford Brimley didn't understand before they both went back to assraping Wilford's ancient liverspotted doctor, who were also in the Pokéverse for reasons.

And thus, the fanfic called "Rectified Anonymity (a.k.a. The Pixeyman Story) 2.0" was born. Whale-a-whale-a-whale-a-whale!

END.


End file.
